How did we get here? That’s the question you asked. My reply “you started this”. That is an easy answer because it hides the real reason we are here. The truth is curiosity. My curiosity, your curiosity, our curiosity is why we are here. I was curious to know the feel of your touch, the taste of your lips and any other thing my mind could fathom. I wanted to be a part of you and you a part of me. I was curious to know what that would be like and how that would impact my life, your life, our lives. But much like Omar Epps, I am in too deep. Now, it’s time to come out of this abyss. This abyss of bliss and get back to what is real. Although I don’t even know what is real anymore. What I do know is you make me feel in ways that were foreign to me, feelings I haven’t had in years. Because of you I am a better me. You truly bring out the best in me and make me want to be a better me.
However, I could be wrong. We could be here because of animal magnetism. Whatever it is we are here now and we need to go back. Back to a time when it was simpler (though it was never easy, it was simpler). Sure it was a daily struggle and fight to keep things under control but we did it and made it work, no matter how difficult it was. Yes, I was curious and I even had thoughts of what it would be like and if it could be. I have often heard people say everything, especially sin, begins in the mind. My curiosity, your curiosity, our curiosity has made this a bit more difficult than either of us expected. Now my curiosity has been quenched and I am no longer curious now I am longing daily. NO more curiosity just emotional needs.
Needs that are no longer met and I struggle to deal with in a way that will not show how much I need and want you. I hide this everyday struggling with the temptation of expressing to you what I feel but frightened that you will turn from me all together. More curiosity peeks what if you feel what I feel and have the same struggles. My mother once told me curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back. And I was satisfied.