Today I was listening to the radio and they were having a discussion about the Bachelorette. The discussion centered around her decision to choose a non-black suitor. The argument was it was giving a bad name to the brothers and making it seems as if a brother was not good enough for her. Now, here’s my issue with this. Many, many years ago black men gave up on black women saying such things as we are too high maintenance, too loud, too demanding, and the list goes on. We had no choice but to take the backlash coming from our men, particularly educated, successful black men. Because of this label or stigma placed on black women by black men, many successful black women have had to settle for less.
If we are too independent and successful we are seen as a threat to the black man, which causes him to look for someone more submissive and dependent. On the flip side, if we are submissive and dependent we are seen as weak and frequently treated like a door mat. Now, spontaneous or free spirited black women are quick to be labeled as weird, tricks, hoes, bitches and thots. Because of these negative stereotypes placed on black women, many are forced into being single waiting on their black king, who will probably never come. Some even engage in lesbian relationships simply because black men do not see the black woman’s worth. Never do we set out to become a threat or subservient to our black brothers, we simply want to compliment him and his success. As a black woman we want to be appreciated for who we have been created to be. If black men can’t appreciate us then we have the right to find someone who will.
So, to those who are upset about what the bachelorette decided, especially black men, we just got tired of waiting for our ship to come in. A ship that obviously sailed some time ago. Black women have joined the ranks of professional athletes, actors and other successful black men in deciding to find love outside of their race. We have decided that sometimes the grass is greener on the other side and if it’s not what do we have to lose. Surely not black men because they left us by choice. Now we have begun to bestow the same actions upon them and they cannot handle the new reality. My question is why are you brothers mad? Is it because we have finally stopped waiting on you or you see someone else doing what you refused to do. Either way you do not have to right to be upset because you made your choice and inadvertently made our choice too . The choices black women are making is a direct reflection of the choices black men have made. I will be the first to say I am not sorry that the tables have turned. I guess the saying you never miss your water til you well runs dry is true.