I try to do what is right because it is what is right. I mean yes I fall short sometimes but as a rule of thumb I try to do what is right. I find that I am constantly taken advantage of by people who know me best because they know that I am going to do what is right. My dilemma is why can’t I be treated like be treated like I treat those around me. I thought perhaps I am surrounding myself with the wrong kind of people. But then I discern people well and I know who these people are from the inside out yet I make a choice to put those people in my circle. One of the people on my front row, who is supposed to be my biggest fan and supporter often tears me down. People like to pretend like they do not know the ramifications of their actions when in actuality they are well aware of what they are doing and saying. So what do you do when giving your all is never enough?
I have faith that everything will get better. I cannot sit around and allow someone else’s actions to dictate my life and what I do. I have spent do much time and energy trying to please others now it’s time to do what I need to do for me. When people hurt they really do hurt others, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I have made a decision to no longer be hurt. Now that is easier said than done especially when the person hurting you is someone you love. I have told myself time and time again that I will no longer be hurt and I will admit I have allowed myself to be hurt but each day I resolve to get stronger and not let it happen again.
In doing this I realize I can only control the things I can control. I cannot control the hurt anyone else feels inside nor can I control how someone treats me or what they say but I can control whether or not I allow myself to be subject to such behavior. I take things one day at a time and focus on the process rather than the outcome. If I place all of my focus on the outcome I will miss my lesson in the process. Everything in life is a process and how we handle difficulties during the process will ultimately determine the outcome and who we will be on the other side. More often than not how we handle a situation is more important than the outcome of the situation. So no matter what the situation the good news is it doesn’t last always. Much like the weather everything is life has a season and seasons change all of the time. The most important thing is to not let your situation define who you are. I refuse to let this current situation define who I am and you should not let yours define you.