Forbidden

Do you love….. Me is what I wanted to say. I couldn’t ask that question for fear of the answer. No matter if the answer was yes or no.  I would not know what to do with it. I long to know the answer to that question.  That is quite selfish of me because I didn’t think how that would affect you. What if I was asked the same question?  Would I tell the truth or would I lie?  I want you to know how I feel but telling you may reveal something detrimental; it may even become an issue. For the sake of not being hurt I would probably lie and hope my body language would tell the truth. How did this happen to me? When did I allow myself to become this vulnerable?  I’m so much stronger than this but you make me weak. I don’t mind being weak for you but will you be strong for me? I’d like to think the answer is yes but knowing the full story makes me wonder. Am I longing for love so badly that I’m seeing something that is not there? That is truly possible but doubtful. I can feel your emotions when you touch me, I can see your feelings when you look at me, I can hear them when you talk to me, yet I want you to tell me, which is so selfish of me. I find myself in uncharted territory, torn between what I want and what is best. The more time passes, I start to dislike you just to mask my true feelings. You are a trap and I feel right into that trap. Now I need to be rescued but how? Could this be real or are my emotions fooling me? Since I have no answers I guess I’ll just let the chips land where they may. Whatever happens happens. I just pray I’m ready.

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