Disappointment

Disappointment is one of those things that comes with life.  If you have never been disappointed, as my mother likes to say “keep living”.  I have been let down and disappointed so many times, yet I continue to put hope in others.  I do not consider myself to be an optimist but sometimes I can’t understand other people’s actions particularly when the outcome can be different if we use common sense.  I am beginning to realize that everyone does not have common sense.  Now, I’m sure at some point in my life I have let a person or two down even to the point of disappointment.  But I rectified the situation and learned from it.  When no lesson is learned from your actions and the same idiotic mistake is made that is when my disappointment sets in.  People I am not extremely close to don’t disappoint me because I do not expect a lot from them.  The vast majority of my disappointment, unfortunately, comes from my family.  Now, this could be because I expect them to know better but even more than that I expect them to know me and what I expect.  When someone close to me disappoints me I want to ask ” do you even really know me?” I ask that because if the answer was yes they would know what things I consider disappointing or a disappointment.  My most recent disappointment came from my daughter.  What she did was so unbelievable, I was at a loss for words (which seldom happens to me).  As parents we think our children know better because we drill things into them over and over and over.  I am convinced that it doesn’t matter because they either don’t know or don’t care.  It’s easier for me to believe she didn’t know better because to think she simply did not care about how her actions would affect me is not fathomable.  But I know she knew better yet she did it any way.  Are he actions a reflection of my parenting?  Did I not teach her better? Should I question my parenting?  I don’t have the answers because I know she knows better than to do what she did.  We arm our children against certain things and people but when they enter society it’s like they become brainless zombies who would rather please others rather than doing what they know is right.  As I reflect on her upbringing I realize I sheltered her too much. My attempt to keep her safe made her naive and unaware of the world around her.  At this point all I can do is pray.  Pray that God will lead her and guide her steps and her path.  Pray that she learns from her mistakes and not make them again. I have realized something else it’s time for me to let her become the woman she thinks she is.  I admire birds because they kick their babies out of the nest at a certain age and they have no choice but fend for themselves.  If it is that easy for birds, why is it so hard for us as people.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s