Am I asking too much

As a woman there are certain things I need.  I need communication and a shoulder when times get overwhelming. When I come home after a long hard day of work I shouldn’t have to tell you I’ve had a bad day, you should be able to see it on my face, in my demeanor, my attitude even in my eyes.  I need you to want to be interested in what I want. Even if you don’t like it I want you to pretend in a way that will never show you are not interested. I need affection that is not forced and coerced or asked for. I want to feel your arms around me and feel the love exude from your touch. Why do I have to ask you for a hug and a kiss. Why am I asking you for affection when it should be given everyday. You make a choice not to supply my needs yet you expect me to supply ALL of your needs willingly and without hesitation. How can you possibly think that will work.  I have no problem satisfying you mentally, physically and emotionally but that is hard to do when I am not getting anything in return.

I deserve love and affection, actually I deserve so much more than what you are giving which is negativity. If I seek these things elsewhere I am wrong but when I tell you what I need and you choose to turn a deaf ear what am I supposed to do?  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do but I know what I do. I suffer in silence.. I long for more. I imagine what should or could be rather than what is. Why can’t you see me for who I am?  I see passed your flaws and see what you cannot see. I look for the positive but you refuse to  see anything good.  I want better, I desire more, I deserve it. I pray for strength and wisdom and I get those things now I want more.  I am strong enough to stay but too weak to leave.  Should I pray for strength to leave or strength to endure? I wish I knew. All I know is I need strength.


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