Addicted

You have become my addiction.  I’m addicted to your touch, your sound, your taste, your essence, your everything.  Well, almost your everything.  I’m addicted to the point that I yearn for you.  I ache inside at the thought of knowing I cannot see you, hear you or touch you daily.  It’s not supposed to be this way.

You have become my drug of choice and I want to overdose on you.  I pick up the phone and I want to text or call but I cannot because if I do I will never break this addiction.  You’ve become my bad habit.  I need your touch.  It’s electricity to me.  It rejuvenates me and makes me feel like I am everything I need to be.  Just like a drug you take me to places beyond myself.  I feel like I am floating on a cloud when you are near.

You have become the light to my darkness, the sun to my rainy day.  You have created a chemical imbalance in my body that has lasted longer that I had ever expected.  I only wanted a hit a little sample to satisfy my curiosity.  I was not ready for what would follow.  Now I’m in a feeding frenzy.  I want more and more and more.  I feel it in the pits of my stomach totally consuming me mind body and spirit.  I tell myself I want it to stop but I love the feeling it brings.  So, I’m lying to myself.

You ignite feelings and emotions I have not felt in a long time and some I have never felt before.  Stop, don’t stop.  I will, I won’t.  I can’t , I can. I’m so confused.  Ecstasy, passion, fire, desire, love, hate, dread, longing all these plus more are incited simultaneously.   I’m in control, I got this.  That’s what I keep telling myself but who am I kidding.

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